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No Apology for the Truth Required. The other night while watching the Daily Show I was rather disappointed when Jon Stewart suggested that Obama should simply have apologized for his "acting stupidly" comment regarding the latest media shit storm. I understand his reasoning with regard to how Obama's comment has perpetuated the media drama but the fact of the matter is, that cop did act stupidly. With all the liars, cheats and thieves living the good life and getting away without so much as an excuse, what the hell is going on in our world when for speaking the truth one should apologize? Shit, I thought the sixties were supposed to put an end to that fifties mindset. Obviously, fifties propaganda has embedded itself deep into the subconscious, or perhaps the Daily Show has too many Canadian writers on staff. Yeah, we Canadians are not only famous for saying eh and oot, but also for excessive use of the word sorry, while being tripped up by another. Then again, perhaps eight years of Bush has made some Americans fearful of any semblance of speaking the truth. So I will forgive Mr. Stewart for his vague suggestion to the President, but in the same respect I have to say thank God for Bill Maher. People were upset (me included) when he criticized Obama for not simply pushing his agenda through (a la Bush) but with the way of the world going for a complete meltdown, I now fail to see another option for making the changes needed. I feel a sense of urgency that I can no longer deny through good manners and ill placed respect. We've all heard the old adage "forgive them for they know not what they do". Well fuck that, for as I see it now, forgiving perpetual ignorance will be our collective downfall. Plain and simple... and we don't have to excuse the truth. 
Speaking of Mr. Maher, I have finally had the chance to see his movie regarding the more than often twisted views of religion, Religulous. You see, having an eight year old daughter, the only movies I get to see in the theaters these days contain computer generated prehistoric sloths named Sid, or animated lions named Alex and such. So I waited patiently for Religulous to come out on DVD, in hopes that I could rent it from the local movie store. But there was a catch to that patience. And the catch was, that I live in a small town which has a predominant Christian community. Seriously... the local Community Chapel has the word "READY?" in huge cut out letters displayed across the front of the building. I am not kidding. And every time I drive by it I think to myself, ready for what? The end of the world? The second coming? The rapture? Armageddon? Dinner? What? What are you praying for? That I will end up in eternal hell for not believing in your particular concept of god? Oh... but I should be respectful of their judgment upon my soul's damnation because I question their pious viewpoint. Well fuck that. They obviously don't respect my view of the world, so why should I return the favor? Needless to say, Religulous has not made it into the rentable DVD collection in either of the stores that nonetheless provide movies of extreme violence and gratuitous sex. Not that I have a problem with gratuitous sex and violence in movies, but what's the deal? Through one of the rental stores we even made a request that they please get it. It never arrived. Makes me wonder. And all I can surmise is that Bill has hit a nerve with his little movie. A movie where the only violence portrayed is through the depictions of prayed for total destruction of the planet. ~ "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." † Mohandas K. Gandhi ~ Since Bill's little flick had little hope of making into our local video store, we were left with no other option but to rent it in Kingston during one of Stefanie's family visits. In so doing, Stefanie made a copy and brought it home for me to watch. I would hope and suspect that the makers of the movie would not object to a personal bootleg. There are a few poignant moments that I want to touch on regarding Religulous but for the moment I need to go back to my disappointment regarding the Daily Show. I'm a fan, a regular viewer and wait religiously to see Jon Stewart's take on the days events. It usually helps me to get to sleep at night. But just lately it has kept me up and I have begun to question what's up, specifically regarding the latest guests. It's almost as if Jon Stewart is trying to travel down the middle of the road. And from my personal experience of late, when one stands in the middle of the road you just get run down by passing traffic. So for what I can only assume is the fear of being labeled as just another liberal, Jon Stewart has invited some fairly obtuse right-wing-nuts to be on the show. Earlier this week it was Bill Crystal and last night it was one of my favorites from the glorious Bush days, John (Ned Flanders) Bolton, former U.N. Ambassador and now a Senior Fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. For those who don't know what the American Enterprise Institute is, it is the think tank which was instrumental in creating the mess the world now finds itself in. Many of its members are responsible for leading the U.S. into Iraq and God only knows what other atrocities against humanity were crafted through this organization. Most likely the Patriot Act and justifiable torture found fertile ground to germinate through this group of "Patriotic Americans". Anyhow, last night Jon Stewart in what I can only hope was a sarcastic gesture, gave John Bolton a friendship bracelet. What the fuck? Why not just hand over your balls and get it over with Jon. Perhaps it was an attempt to show that despite having Obama as President, there are still nut jobs working to undermine, but I know that and I don't need to listen to John Bolton on the Daily Show to prove it. With Fox News doing its damnedest to destroy the best thing to have walked through those Whitehouse doors in decades, my question is... why give these freaks another forum to spew their twisted views? By the end of the interview Bolton said something to the effect of wanting only the U.S. to possess Nuclear Weapons and that Israel should bomb Iran. In effect and with little doubt to the contrary fulfilling the self created prophecy of rapturous annihilation of the heathen, leaving what's left for the righteous followers of Jesus Christ. Although I suspect J.C. would have another opinion of them, if they should actually meet face to face. And here we are, back to Religulous. ~ 
In a nut shell, Religulous is one of the best movies I have seen a long, long time. And through watching it, my respect for Bill Maher has grown. All I can say is, this guy has balls and we could all learn something from his egalitarian stance for truth. Who would have thought a little Catholic Jewish pot smoking atheist with a big head would be the most prominent proponent of common sense and the voice of reason for our age. If there is intelligent design, it would seem to have a sense of divine humor. What I admire about Bill Maher is that (unlike previously mentioned comedians) he does not attempt to stand in the middle of the road. Even when (during the election) he appeared on the Daily Show to promote Religulous, he was not afraid to just say that he supported Obama. And when something appears to him as utterly ridiculous he is not afraid to say so. Even knowing first hand how seriously psychotic the followers of religious fantasy are, he has no qualms in saying so. I can only imagine the number of death threats this guy receives on a daily basis. Just the other day I caught him on CNN and he said something to the effect of America being a stupid country, which started a flurry of emails and he made no apologies. Simply stating that any country who would have someone as stupid as Sarah Palin get within inches of the Presidency is stupid. So yeah, I really admire this guy and feel that he is one of the bravest individuals to inhabit the planet at this point in history. Going up against eons of religious dogma in all its various forms is no mean feat. So when Bill Maher says that Obama did not mean to say "acted stupidly" regarding the arrest of someone in their own home but rather that he meant to say "acted retardedly" he supports Obama. He supports him by saying what I half suspect Obama truly felt concerning the issue but could never say for the obvious repercussions. No need to apologize for the truth Jon. Watching Bill Maher do his thing reminds me of what I've always known to be true. Don't be afraid to call it as you see it. Too many times in my life I have held my tongue for fear. Fear of the repercussions. Fear of finding myself alienated within the community. Fear of losing all my friends. The list of fears is endless. But now that I approach the age of fifty, all those fears, real or imagined, seem petty to say the least. In the end, all they have ever given me is a loss of self and who I know myself to be. At almost fifty, I now see that I have precious little time to waste in order to do the work I was destined to do from birth. And that work is to use the talent I was born with to express my vision of the truth. It may not be the absolute truth but it is mine and I have the right to express it no matter who it might make feel uncomfortable. 
In some of my lighter or more self aware moments I have been called contemptuous, but it is precisely in those moments of so called contempt, that I feel myself most of all. The trouble is, the fear I most dread is the one of speaking my truth to the point where the recipient's belief system is shattered, leaving them with no place to stand. My mother taught me to be a good boy and to be respectful of others feelings. And to a point I remain that boy but now as I approach fifty... only to a point. Setting the fear of hurting another aside, in truth, such an act when performed consciously is an act of ultimate service. The one scene from Religulous where I saw Bill Maher go to that place, was when he was speaking to Jesus and it gave me that old familiar knot in my stomach watching it. When Bill's reply to Jesus's, "What if you are wrong?" was "but what if you're wrong?" I could see in Jesus's face that his conveniently placed doubts were brought to the surface. Ouch. That Bill can be a real prick sometimes but I'm sure he means well. In a contrary scene which was not in the movie but rather relegated to the outtakes, I saw the opposite effect to Bill's investigations. He was speaking to David Icke the internet conspiracy theorist who believes the world is run by lizard like aliens disguised as our leaders. Does Mr. Icke consider Obama to be one of these mutants? Probably. Bill asked him how he knows that the world is run my lizards? Along with saying that he has seen them shape shift, Icke's reply was, "I've done my research" to which Bill's only reply was laughter. I mention this because I have had someone close to me use this "research" reason as absolute proof to try and convert me. But as far as I can tell, this individual's only research comes from the internet and as I've mentioned in previous journal entries, researching the internet for truth is a crap shoot at best. Paper does not refuse ink and the internet is loaded with bullshit sold as truth. I mean really, you could research the internet to come to the conclusion that climate change is a lie and Glen Beck is god. You could do this while totally ignoring the scientists who have spent twenty or more years of study in the Antarctic, coming to the conclusion that warming is a fact. Hey... I saw a documentary on it and it seems they think that it is probably too late, even if we should be so wise as to change our ways. Most of them have simply relegated themselves to watching disaster movies as they while away the perpetual night. Bill Maher's other query for David Icke was something to the effect of, "What is your prediction for the next hundred years?" To which David Icke's reply was, "There will be no more religions." And my initial thought to that reply was, yeah sure... all the religions will be gone with the exception of the one you are presently creating I suppose. ~ "We
could plan a murder, † An American Prayer ~ Jim Morrison (The original lizard king.) ~ Unlike Bill Maher, atheism is not something I cling to religiously. As is the case, when looking out into the Universe it is hard for me to believe that Earth is the only inhabited planet. Life would seem to be a waste of time without some kind of timeless purpose. I have my own belief structure and through various personal experiences I know that there is more to life than this space time. Hell... at night do we not dream another reality? But like Bill Maher, I have met people who proclaim to be "spiritual" rather then "religious" and act anything but. There is nothing as pure as nothing at all. ~ Anyway, before the nothing appears, I have a few more bones to pick out of my teeth and I have no idea how they got there. Especially since I haven't eaten a piece of meat in over twenty years. Being a fan of the new President I still subject myself to news coverage of how Obama is doing. Healthcare seems to be his issue lately and being a Canadian I have been more than a little insulted by the detractors of so called socialized medicine or Canadian Healthcare, like it's a bad thing. As far as I can tell, the only thing wrong with the Canadian system is that teeth aren't covered. If they were I'd have had this damn wisdom tooth pulled out long ago. As it is, it will most likely get infected and be the death of me. There is one commercial that really pisses me off when I see it. It supposedly portrays some Canadian woman with a brain tumor, who was denied coverage by a government bureaucrat for its diagnosis and removal. So the story goes, she went to the States and paid to have it removed. For all I know her story could be true but what about the countless stories where our allegedly inferior system saved lives. For some reason I have not seen any of these stories on American television. And why not? I don't know why not, but I do have a few personal experiences which prove my point and if allowed to be heard, could help Obama in his quest to change their system. As is the case with religion, lies get told over and over again until they are presumed true. I guess there is one floating around now that Obama's plan will put seniors on ice flows to die. If that was true, nobody told my mother. Through our system she has had not one but three hip replacements, never having to deal with anyone other than her doctor. The most recent replacement was performed in her eighties and no bureaucrat was present to suggest that she was too old or not worthy. From the end of life to the beginning, personally, I have not had a problem with our system of health care. There's the story of our daughter Samsara's birth. Not only was everything covered but we had choice. Not being a huge fan of the medical system, specifically regarding child birth, we chose to bring Samsara into the world through the aid of midwives. Not only was it fully covered but we were even given the choice of having a home birth. Which is what we decided on. The level of care was nothing short of miraculous and it didn't cost us a cent. I could go on about midwifery and its benefits but that would require more than one paragraph to fully explain. If you are interested in learning more regarding midwifery within the Peterborough area, here is our midwives website: Kawartha Community Midwives And then there was the time shortly following Samsara's birth when Stefanie came home to tell me that the tests were positive. Which in medical terms means negative, because she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. For those who are not familiar, Hodgkin's is a form of lymphatic cancer. As "luck" would have it, the most treatable form of cancer but cancer nonetheless where left untreated, a death sentence. But again, the level of care specifically the nursing, was impeccable and unrestricted by financial concerns. I don't know what we would have done if we had been living in the States, because we would more than likely have been one of those who can not afford private health insurance. I would most likely not be writing this from our comfortable home in the woods, where Stefanie is presently making breakfast for our little girl. As with midwifery, I could write a book regarding the level of care Stefanie received. A short list would include: All medicines covered. Homecare to look after her chemo port, covered. Every level of possible scan, covered. And again, the level of compassionate care provided by the nurses in the chemo room, covered. In truth with regard to her doctor Dr. Bates, I had a nickname for her, The Batenator. There were times where I thought she pushed it to the extreme with all guns blazing to annihilate even the slightest chance of this cancer recurring. So short of some lingering after effects from the therapy, all is well with Stefanie and we didn't go bankrupt and lose our home in the process. Please Mr. Harper don't fuck this up before we can vote you out of office in the next election. There are just three examples within one families experience, so when I hear the endless stream of lies and the lack of truth regarding government run healthcare, it pisses me off. It pisses me off at the same level and not unlike being told that I will be damned to hell for not believing in some fucked up fantasy regarding the afterlife. Ignorance is not bliss, it is just plain stupid. There are times when I masochistically subject myself to watching CNN and I think... perhaps I should write to Lou Dobbs regarding healthcare. As I write that, I believe I actually did once. It was a waste of time. Why would Lou Dobbs put my story up for Americans to read? I'm sure in his mind, I'm just a socialist Canadian who doesn't know shit. But the truth is, if the Canadian way is nothing short of communism, would I be allowed to write what I have just written and post it on the internet for all to read, should they choose to? No, the only reason that Lou Dobbs and his ilk never post positive examples of not for profit healthcare on their shows, is because it doesn't support their fucked up worldview. And again, that's just stupid. Yet not all Americans are stupid and coincidentally it is generally the ones who are not afraid of using the words stupid or stupidly when describing something asinine regarding the America way. During last week's Real Time with Bill Maher he spoke about some things in life that are better served through non-profit motives. He mentioned examples such as healthcare and the news but what I heard when he spoke was my own situation. Art is better served without a profit motive. For all the years that I have practiced my art I have done my damnedest to keep it free of such concerns. Sure... I try to sell it, but I don't produce it for the money factor. I could have sold out my free expression long ago and to be honest there are times I have tried. But somewhere along the road it would seem that I have made a deal with Art that sellout is not a option I possess. Every time I try to produce a piece or work purely for the buck, it backfires, leaving me not only poorer in dollars but more profoundly... poorer in spirit, floundering for my sense of self. Heading towards fifty, that is a price I can no longer pay. Even trying to do work which I considered comfortably divorced from the real art, like signs, has become an effort of futility in raising funds. In my previous journal entry I spoke at length and tried to explain why I have added a donation option to my website. So far the only donation I have received is a judgment on my motives, "that I should show some dignity". To that I say, thanks but it doesn't help to pay the bills. Despite that judgment call, I will continue to offer my images online for free or donations. It would seem that I cannot stress this enough. I've seen what happens to art when the dealer takes over the show. The only work they will take seriously, is art which can be produced quickly not unlike fast food. And like how fast food will kill you in the end, art produced through the system of weekly produced collections of splattered canvases for the galleries profit margin, will obliterate what is left of the human spirit. Art suffers when it becomes merely another investment in your portfolio and to that, I say no thanks. ~ "I'm
not through with my changes
†
Crown ~ Lyrics by
Mike Scott ~ It has been too long between my last journal entry and this one. Part of the reason is I don't get paid for this, but the more poignant reason is because I have been working steady on my latest painting. For the past month or two I have been chipping away at the stone, covering an square inch or five everyday. It helps to lift the spirit of our gallery and I believe through so doing, it is attracting people to our door who are searching for the true meaning of what it is to be alive in our age. I've been witness to the process that if you stick to your guns, speak your truth, and hold onto the richness of living life for a grander purpose rather then the buck, those who catch this vibe will want to support it. Ever so slowly, things have been changing and in simply keeping our door open and our minds focused on what is important to us, the bills are being held at bay. Of course winning the lottery and no longer having any need or concern regarding the roof over our heads would be preferred, but climbing the shit heap of false truths in the attempt to have a clear view, would seem to be a prerequisite to the journey. So with no desire to start a new religion, free thinkers unite. And if perchance you should catch a glimpse of the light, remember what a wise man once told me. Paraphrasing it goes something like this. If you should happen to see the light while you are standing on your left foot facing north on Tuesday, you just may deduce that that is the only way. In so doing, you will become a great devotee of standing on your left foot facing north on Tuesday and even try to get other people to do the same by saying, "You should see what happens to you while you stand on your left foot facing north on Tuesday, in fact its the only way." And next thing you know, if you see people who stand on their right foot facing south on Wednesday you may just want to kill them to protect your point of view and fantasy of how it all is. Ridiculous, religulous, for sure. ~ "Truth
is by nature self-evident. † Mohandas K. Gandhi ~ Amendment: Regarding previous journal entries that touched on personal family issues. I have had requests to remove them. To remove them would be to deny myself, my truth and who I know myself to be. This I can no longer do. ~ Disclaimer: Use of images and quotations on this page are meant to illustrate and enhance a personal point of view and in no way indicates or infers the individuals depicted or the photographer's or artist's support of any opinion or statements expressed by the author. ~ Note: To reach other entries of the past just use the Index on the right by choosing the date, a flyout title will also appear to help in your inquiry. Or click here for Page 11 of the Journal. ~ |
